(-----------) [Part 3]

1.)
Yes. God knows from where, ascended into me new strengths, and so what that math is waiting. It really doesn’t matter what will happen, I have this weird feeling it will be just fine. Because it has to be! It’s about damn time. I feel like dancing, and my whole being is filled with energy with which I can move mountains. And maybe, I really don’t need you. Maybe not now. Because I am well without you.

2.)
When emotions settle down, and anger wears off, I begin to excuse you. That maybe I over-reacted, that I no longer know how it went and if I really had anything to be angry about, because it was nothing big, right? Even though everyone says prominently the same thing-that I shouldn’t have any doubts. Because of the self respect we all know about. Nonetheless. Damn it!

3.)
And you still tried to do it, and I still succumbed. Like I expected. And I was sure there will not be a fairy tale ending along the line of ‘they lived happily ever after’ but something along the lines of ‘the princess putrefied locked in the highest chamber of the highest tower’. And? And nothing. Despite all that I still intentionally acknowledged “yes, sure. I would love to” and for that alone I think I can hate You.


4.)
Worst part is when you realize that people closest to you become so distant. And not because they depart, or walk away, and not because of an argument, but just because.
That states that in that moment they are so foreign, so, unfitting, not-for-ever. But for some time. Day, maybe two. Those are the loneliest moments. When you see the world dancing to rock’n’roll and you only get to look at it through a glass, soundproof wall. Knock. I knock. Can You hear?

5.)
Once and forever remember you dummy- he really is silly, and most likely the 7 lives he had he used three times already. And ‘this’ doesn’t deserve another chance, even one, even …NO! NO! NO! You really cannot be this dumb and naive. Bit of pride and self-respect. That’s it! And don’t fall for his life issues. Starting today- You become a cold heart-ed bitch.

6.)
Preferably, I would like to find a way to break into your head, to finally be able to understand what the fuck is going on in there. You are The Champion of the World
In swinging the lead and stalling.
But best of all- I couldn’t help myself and fell for it.
Even in the tiniest degree. And damn it, for anything in the world, I will never know what sits in that head of yours. Each step and move of yours was and still is totally inexplicable. And, well, I simply don’t know. I really no longer know how to work with it or want to for that matter, for I tried. And it would have been so easy…

7.)
Aside of having a blast, Saturday night I went through all possible emotional-physical states, from euphoria to almost agony. Starting that night I have a resolution and I am proud of it- I will not call you ever aging. Ever. And successively will cross you out from my thoughts. Piece by piece

I’ve tried this before, but this time- I really want to and believe I can
AND, for the most part- will kill if someone tries to change it.
Because I want to draw fists-full of happiness from life without You around.
And You,
You my dear, be well. Farewell!