...I came to a conclusion that I don’t see a single sane reason to get married. I like my life the way it is, and am not planning on changing it anytime soon. Love, love until you feel it, until forever. And I believe in that, with or without a sheet of paper. Above all, a wedding means a nightmarish party, sweetening the pot with damn doves, gold circles, music that induces the desire for bloodthirstiness, necessity to invite a herd of aunts whose names I will never remember and potentially- having the biggest hangover of my life. Even attractiveness of filing taxes together, succession and coheir-ship changes nothing.
The problem is that, that sense and reasoning that I speak of, are left behind. The moment I realized that I want to be a wife. Yes. Without a valid or solid reason. I want my life and that someone’s life to become ours. To make every serious decision together. Making everyday choices, running errands, I want to think of the other person. I want to wash our dishes, cook, vacuum the floor in our house, pick our dirty clothes up, while someone makes supper, for us. I want to walk the dog. Together. I want to strive to be smarter, more beautiful, more attractive, more everything with each day, of each year of our life together, knowing that even though someone won’t leave, I want to see his eyes sparkle when he looks at me. I want to have obligations and be committed. I want to be responsible for both of us. Without all the obligations, commitment and responsibility, what’s the point of being together, no? And God damn it, YES, I want to swear that my love will remain the same till very end and even longer, and I want him to do the same, knowing that, it is that way, with or without oath.
I even want to change my last name, even though I am attached to my current one. I want, when people approach me, to know that I respond as a representative of something bigger- us. I even don’t mind inviting all those aunts, they have so little left in their lives, let them feast their eyes, and talk shit about my wedding dress.
And then I will plant flowers and take care of our garden.
