Love Me

Old mystic song of a human soul
And the dark side of the moon
The sun kills us according to the Installment plan
The stairs to heaven I ascend
There are no highways there
You I think of, bird is the absence of words
My worlds are foreign without night and day
Lunatic poetry arises there
But as long as I am here, please
Love me, touch me

Touch softly, silently, with you fingertips
Touch with a kiss, and a breath, just the way you like it
Touch with a smudge of hair, eye lash bow, muslin pain

Love and solitude
True love only God gives and understands
I look for it, and want to live for it
Though opprobrium may deceive
I miss the silence of a deserted island
My worlds are foreign without night and day
Lunatic poetry arises there
But as long as I am here, please
Love me, touch me

The queer is beautiful, I think, corrupting others
As a birthday gift I will give myself a peace in my mind
Darling, though it's hard, you can drink loneliness up,
Say no more, just embrace me, and touch me.

If I promised You...

You say I overshadow,
With myself I fill your entire world
And aside of me you notice
Only what you want to give me
Everything you want to give me
You say we are born
To be for one another every day
And the days,
Even the bad ones to all appearances, are here to bring us closer
Words are beautiful
But they are only words
So, if I promised
To share each dream with you
Would you believe
In the unreal gesture?
And if late at night
I would swear that the day still lasts
One of those dark ones
More important then the words are
And if late at night
I would swear that the day still lasts,
Would you believe
In that banal dream?

Daydreams in a coffee mug.

I am not an article of your first need. You don’t need to have me for the asking.
I won’t satisfy your hunger. I don’t cure hangovers and depression. I don’t attenuate exanthema. I am not needed in the facebook friends list. I will not be Miss America. I may not console your heart; I may not treat with a kind word. I won’t applaud ideas. I have my own. I know what I am doing. Contrary to what seems. Disenchant expectant. May not satisfy. Let down what’s organized in me. Don’t always give hope. I may not be a Five Ruble Coin that pleases everyone. I pour my daydreams in a coffee mug.

Tears Simply Are- To Madzia

You know how many misunderstandings, anger, hostility we would simply escape
if we only understood, that we don't have to be perfect, still fight, judge, and torture ourselves continuously by requirements of time way beyond our power
That we have the right to learn, to make errors, and to be pathetic
Someone once said to me, "Tears, tears just are".
That someone, like a Wonder-Worker, withdrew from me, the guilt, the loos that always brought anger, nuisance, misunderstanding, and some more of anger, coming back, bouncing back.
The need to fight and proving something.
Also helped me to avoid another portion of aggression form the world, which quite possibly through the tears felt denounced, judged, and summoned to another fight.
Tears just are.
Sometime you just have to let them roll.
Without accusations.
Or Grievance.

A year of dangerous life.

Almost Passed. Another one.
Since yesterday, my small daruma doll looks at me alertly with one eye
I tell her: It will be fine. After all you know me. It's nothing, that this year, yet again, I will trap myself in a thousand stories native to Czech cinematography or Venezuelan soap-opera..
It's nothing that I will run headlong blindly, jump over vertical walls and stumble over my own feet....
It's nothing. At least neither one of us will be bored :)
You know me, after all. So guard me, and don't let me leave your eyesight.
Keep me on a short leash.
Like a vicious, jibber, bolter foal...
Like a colourfull kite during a gale...
Like a half-piglet during a dull day :D

:D

jeszcze kilka dni temu myślałam naiwnie - you're my favourite mistake...
dzisiaj, po tym wszystkim, ogarnia mnie pusty śmiech - what the fuck was I thinking...


P.S. Mathilda- the frog, jumped under my feet
on my way to work today.
asked if I can kiss her.
She said she doesn't kiss on the first date.

dwarf and a pirate princess

can drive over in my sweat pants, plastic clasp in my hair, and abundance of problems.
can break down into thousands of tiny pieces on your couch, and cry 'til I am out of breath.
can show that in reality I am a witch, and to fullfill happiness I only need a panga.
can everything, and you will still like me. best in the world.

believe in what I say, and mostly-
I believe in what I hear.
I use simple words.
'I' is I. 'You' is You. 'Love' is love.
'White' is white. 'Black' is black.
Seems, it doesn't work like that for everyone.
95% of ladies I know in Chicago and the area
don't seem to see the difference.



You ask me what happiness is
I will tell you if you are so interested
Happiness is a small girl
sitting on snow
and looking astonishingly
at the foot mark
Happiness is a small girl
that pees in a cup with coffee.

Be a Part of Me

I'm a miraculous dreamland
The land of everlasting dreams
If you want to come ashore
Prepare a boat
Let the starlight lead you at night
Like you were re-born
And love for the first time
Please stay,
The dreamland arises from sleep
With your warmth and touch of lips

Stay, until our kisses
And the rays of sun live in us

Sometimes its worth to forgive
Sometimes its worth to come back
Forget the bad
Paint the days with beautiful colours
However possible

Let the rocks fall
Let the hail fall
Down the stairs
To the Gates of Truth
Let it burn in flames
Of our bodies
All the pain and regrets

Be a part of me
Be my dream
A ray of sun that is given by a day
A drug to cure my pain
Always, be where I am.

oh irony [part 2]

Your shirt did stop smelling like You.
I washed it with my tears and threw it away.
Today I am not afraid that I will forget how You smell.

I think I already did and I didn't mean to.
The door is closed dear. And You threw away the key.

I no longer expect anything.
Maybe I don't deserve to do so,
maybe it's just the way things go.

The bed is empty and cold.

Moment of Revelation...

Time moves so long, so fast, all points coalesce.
The dreamer becomes the dream.
The falconer no longer hears the clarion, no longer sees the impetus.
To describe oneself, a heart which, once capable of inspiring others so completely,
can no longer inspire so much as itself;
it beats now only out of habit, it beats now only because it can.
The same radiant colours, once heralded so highly, now only bare the scars of a forgotten future.
All of life can be broken down into moments of transition or moments of revelation.
There is a greater darkness than the one we fight; it is the darkness of a soul which has lost its way.
Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope, the death of dreams. The future is all around us, waiting in moments of transition, to be born at last, in moments of revelation.

oh, irony

when after two weeks, I state that I will be fine without you, and strain to erase you from my memory, that’s exactly when You show up. It’s unbelievably beautiful how you can come in hmmm....wrong time. Even thought any time is actually good, because at the end each particle of my conscience waits for you like cheap wine at some local liquor store and I simply cannot abnegate You. For I tried everything.

And I’m afraid. Needlessly. Even thought it isn’t what I thought it would be. It hurts the most around those banal, everyday things. ...and You know what I'm afraid of most tonight? That soon, your shirt will stop smelling like you, and I will never remember how you smell.

no more drama

as a matter of fact, I think I am pretty strong,
even when I cry
I can cry really hard and sincerely,
and then wipe my face, get up and walk.
With my head lifted high because there is nothing to be ashamed of
I want to learn to kick ass.
Karate kicks, half flip, elbow spin, hook kick,
or dangling the sticks. Whatever
I can also fuck the boards up with my hands,
or bricks with my forehead,
I am not really all that picky
I only want to vent all the inner energy I have,
that carries through me
Last night I vented all the sadness out,
came home in the morning
Passing bare-foot girls on the sidewalk,
with shoes in their hands
You know, I kinda like the city.
Because, well, why not??

Treacherous animal

Man, devious, artful, astute beast
Whispers to prey's ear
Breaths on it's neck
Treacherous animal!
Tripping over whatever you find
on your way out
You fall in its trap

Soulmate (via wikipedia)

A soulmate or soul mate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one's soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join. However, not everyone who uses these terms intends them to carry such mystical connotations.

One story about soulmates, presented by Aristophanes in Plato's Symposium, is that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them:
[Primeval man] could walk upright as men now do, backwards or forwards as he pleased, and he could also roll over and over at a great pace, turning on his four hands and four feet, eight in all, like tumblers going over and over with their legs in the air; this was when he wanted to run fast …Terrible was their might and strength, and the thoughts of their hearts were great, and they made an attack upon the gods ... Doubt reigned in the celestial councils. Should they kill them and annihilate the race with thunderbolts, as they had done the giants, then there would be an end of the sacrifices and worship which men offered to them; but, on the other hand, the gods could not suffer their insolence to be unrestrained. At last, after a good deal of reflection, Zeus discovered a way. He said: 'I have a plan which will humble their pride and improve their manners; men shall continue to exist, but I will cut them in two and then they will be diminished in strength and increased in numbers; this will have the advantage of making them more profitable to us. They shall walk upright on two legs, and if they continue insolent and will not be quiet, I will split them again and they shall hop about on a single leg.'
—Aristophanes, Plato’s Symposium


The feet of Saint Guénolé (Winwaloe, Guignolé) statue, in a Prigny (Loire-Atlantique) chapel, are pierced with needles by local girls who hope to find their soulmates.
According to Theosophy, whose claims were modified by Edgar Cayce, God created androgynous souls, equally male and female. Later theories postulate that the souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or "separation from God". Over a number of reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.

Laser Baked Babies

With a silver razor blade carve successive signs
Even though I Feel the pain
Even though I see blood from the wounds flowing
I will not stop my
Inspiration With the razor blade so lightly flows
I dry my wounded hands from the bloody marks
I kneel and fold them evenly in thanksgiving pray
I didn’t kill myself right away
I was so close to the edge
Restrained myself
Perhaps for a moment,
found something to believe in
memories and what once was
Perhaps, for the last time gave myself and her a chance
Next time will be my end
When I reach for the crime I will not restrain myself,
And with my own blood
At my lowest low, on the bedroom wall I will write:
“I loved you Lexapro”